My Cancer Adventure -- links to photos

I'm not sure when I noticed that my right breast was looking a little larger than the left. There was also a little discoloration, like slight bruising. Was it sometime in the Fall of 2003? Maybe even as early as August, when I 'gave up' coffee -- could that be related, as a change in metabolism? When I asked my General Practitioner about it in December, she thought it was just a hormonal change. Certainly all the menopause books say that swelling and tenderness of the breasts is something that happens. The bruising went away and the swelling was not very noticeable.
On May 18, I happened to be back at the Doctor's office with a cold that I thought might be strep throat, and my girlfriend, Rosie, had urged me to ask the Doctor about my breast. The right breast still was oddly larger than the left, and that its texture felt different, firmer, sort of heavier. So my GP gave me a referral to a specialist. I was very unconcerned about all this when I went to the specialist, Dr. Jones, on May 28. After all, the only irregularities were this slight change in my breast. There was no lump. There was nothing to 'find' with those monthly self-exams. My mammograms in September had been normal. And I felt great.
Dr. J was concerned. Things started happening quickly. I had mammograms and ultrasound that day. I hadn't envisioned that I'd be spending my Friday in a hospital gown. I'd come in a carefree person, in a hospital almost by accident, and now I needed lots of tests. All of a sudden I was a patient. Was I sick? We scheduled an MRI for the following week.
But first thing after the Memorial day holiday I got a call for Dr. J's office -- they could get me in for an MRI that day. There was a sense of urgency. Then on Thursday I went in to meet with Dr. J, I thought that this was to talk about the tests so far. Rosie came with me and was such a help. Dr. J wanted to do some biopsies. This was done with a long needle that collected "core samples." I kept my eyes closed, but it felt like a staple gun -- not painful, as I was numbed, but that sound and sense of impact. I left the hospital with an ice pack in my bra, and went to lead a Women's History Walking tour of the Back Bay! Not good planning.
Dr. J did another biopsy of the skin the following day. Still no results from all the tests, so I was trying not to worry. Sunday I had my book party (www. rebeccaclarke.org) which was incredibly fun and a great success.

So it all seems to have happened very suddenly. The call came on Monday morning. Dr. J always seems to call me right away. "The results of your screenings were positive for cancer," she said. "And 'positive' is bad, right?" I was thinking. Rosie and I went in and discussed the results. This all sounds so calm as I describe it, but I was doing a lot of crying.

Anyway, my treatment will start with chemotherapy to try and localize the cancer, which has spread through the lymphatic system of the breast. Wednesday, June 9, I meet my oncologist, Dr. Weissman. Friday I have more tests done to see if the cancer has spread. Inflammatory cancer spreads quickly and since is difficult to detect, it is usually at "stage III" by the time it is discovered. I feel like such an expert already. The support from all my friends and family members is very moving.

So my book tour is on hold! I have a good capacity to see all new experiences as an adventure, so this is going to be quite and adventure for me.